I feel breakable right now
the slightest touch would shatter me
crystal shards sparking rainbows of light
to fall dully into the darkness to shine no more.
I feel weightless
a leaf tossed at the wind's whim
trying desperately to find my way to the ground
but there is nothing to cling to here.
I don't feel real, I don't feel I am here
fading away, translucent
no more strength than a whisper's breath
unseen, unheard, merely a ghost's memory
I'm lost
and there is no one who wants to find me.

This isn't working. I want to write how I'm feeling, and it feels like it should be a poem, but there isn't anywhere it wants to go. It says it's done, but....I guess I will leave it there; if nothing else, it can serve as a marker of this day.

I think I'm just too confused and bereft right now to form coherent thoughts.

I worry that this will be yet one more memory that will get added to my list of life's regrets. Things I should have done, should have said, or should not have said. Why must I be this way? Why must I let my own thoughts get me into trouble? I know I tend to over-think everything, worry it to death, unable to let go. I just wish I knew why I am this way. Why can't I let things go?

Tags: poetry
Current Mood: distraught
Current Music: "Xavier" - Dead Can Dance